The Xydexx Institute of Squeaks

Lil' Unicorn is getting pissed off! (photo) - $1

This is a funny advertisement I stumbled upon on Craigslist a while back. It was too good not to save. It's a tragic tale of an unwanted imagination boosting stick unicorn. Awwwww? Poor little unicorn. Nobody wants him.

Note the difference between this and Xydexx, the pony that everyone wants.

Date: Thu Aug 8 17:02:02 2002

My feelings are so hurt! I tried to be nice and made a plea to your common sense on how I am a great imagination boosting stick unicorn.  I know you are letting your children rot their brains out sitting in front of some sort to idiot tube playing video games or watching TV. But no! You ridicule and mock me.  You've offered to let your dog chew me up and have wanted to know if I am flammable, but you still wouldn't come and get me.  Someone wanted to know how big my horn is.  It's 9" and almost 4" wide at the base which is big enough for whatever the heck you had in mind!

At one dollar you better buy me pretty soon or I'm going to have a self-esteem problem. I'll end up at the dog parks tormenting the dogs who can't jump high enough to get me but when they aren't looking are going to feel my horn up their butts. I'll visit children's windows at night and scare the daylights out of them and rumors of the mystical haunted Unicorn will travel throughout the city. I'll steal their Pokemon and Yugio cards and eat them.  I'll leave mystical Unicorn crap on their Playstation machines. I'll tinkle on their Power Ranger dolls. In the end I'll set myself on fire and and fling myself into an arcade parlor engulfing the entire establishment.

So buy me or else!

It's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests or the Unicorn will eat you.

This Unicorn lives in or around Golden Gate Heights.

This is in or around Golden Gate Heights

Karl Xydexx Jorgensen

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