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LambertLambert :You can never have too much playspace.

City: Virginia WITH HAMS
Area: United States
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Sign: Leo
Height: 5' 10" (178 cm)
Age: 39
Gender: Man
Body Type: Average
Religion: Other Religion
Hair Color: Blond
Rate My Picture: No
I am Seeking a: Man
Who is Looking for: MOOSILIDGE

Lambert Lambert - 100% Moosilidge with MOOSE! Kittens that burp constantly!

Smoker? No
Do you drink? Socially
Marital Status Not Single/Not Looking
Profession Professional Weirdo
Do you want children? Does not want children
Do you do drugs? No
Do you have children? No


abandoned buildings, bagelocity, bambi's butt, boringville, captain jack sparrow, charm that spreads, cute and weird, demon llama, discordianism, elephino, emergency pony system, exploring my world, flying spaghetti monster, free hugs campaign, GanseVOORT!, gods magic banana factory, gravy, hams for industry, hiking, honey SOS WTF, indian food, inflatable deer, latex, legolas, magical pony with laser beams, octopods, ohdeer, OMG PONIES, pirates, recumbent bicycling, sand castles, squishy octopods, they might be giants, unicorns, xydexx, yak worshipping

About Me:

The online dating website PLENTY OFFISH.COM did not like my dating profile. It was too weird for them. I think something about the naked candlelight yak rituals may have upset them. Maybe they didn't like my pony with laser beams. I do not think they did not think I was serious.

Much later, Axl Rose stole my clothes. A hyena stole my ocarina. That makes me sad. A world without hams is no world at all. You know that!

Here's some obscure trivia: Lambert Lambert was one of the boatmen who ferried John Andre across the Hudson River to Westchester. We do not know if he did this nakedly. We do know that Bambi likes to watch.

Lambert Lambert is proud to be a member of the army of demon foxes. We'll pounce you and yiff you, see if we don't. Later, Xydexx will be like Mad Ludwig, dressing up like Lohengrin and building demented castles all over the internet and abandoning them. Add, subtract, manipulate will be the order of the day. Because you can never have enough playspace.

First Date:

I will be ready like Mario Andretti. We will go out and fight spam bots with my pony that shoots laser beams out of its head. After we track down Axl Rose and get my clothes back, the hyena will eat him!

We will finish off the evening with the celebratory naked candlelight yak rituals and what have you.

LambertLambert Appears on everyone's favorites lists and has 12 noses that can be eaten.

This page was last updated: October 25, 2015.