17 FEB 2009
There is a reason Xydexx eventually moves on to doing better things with his time. It comes down to how you decide to spend your life and, on some level, what kind of human being you want to be. This is why Xydexx will always be the squeakiest.
This means spending less time looking for bears and more time making s'mores. Yes, more s'mores. Smoores. It's like when you have more Oreos. Then we say they are Moreos.
Lambert Lambert
My protaganist Lambert Lambert says you can never have too much playspace. Really, playspace is everywhere on the internet if you know where to look. The folks at PlentyOfFish didn't like Lambert Lambert's dating profile, but that's probably because of his interests in octopods and bagelocity, a dangerous combination to be sure.
I should do genealogy research on Lambert Lambert. Where he came from, what he did, how he became World Champion Mornington Crescent player, and so on.
News From Boringville
Work on renovating the Boringville Clock Tower is nearing completion, thanks to a generous donation from Consolidated Moosilidge. Consolidated Moosilidge also provides funding for important research in the areas of meme tracking, the power of mooing, and babelfishing. They are by necessity confusing, in order to go as far down the rabbit hole as possible. There's no telling who might be trying to sneak a peek at our important research, after all.
If you are interested in learning more about this important research, please consult the Squeakyponyland Guide to Import/Export and the Super Bowl of Eyeballs for application information and required confusion. (The super bowl of eyeballs really is full of eyeballs, by the way, but it is carried by a cartoon bear so that makes it less traumatic.)
1000 Blank White Cards
While cleaning and reorganizing downstairs, I found several boxes of old business cards of mine. Actually, I've been saving boxes of these every time I come across them ever since I found out about the game 1000 Blank White Cards, which sounds like the best game I've never played. Of course, I could end up being horrible at it, since I can't think on my feet and make things up on the fly. At least not as much as I think would be necessary for a game like this. On the other hand, given enough beer and pizza, this could be a fun game to play at a furry con.
Thus, I'm saving up all my unused business cards in hopes of one day playing this really wacky game. Or perhaps I can just create an Oblique Strategies deck instead.
Stretchable Llamas and a Distinct Lack of Organization
Yes. I know. These pages are still horribly disorganized. Trust me, I'm working on it. I am attempting to bring some coherency and with luck an increased frequency in updates to these pages. Hopefully. Keep your shirt on.
We'll end this with a few words about puppies. Yes, puppies will be the end of us all.
Puppies
It's mean to hide a kitten in a puppy's butt.
And yet, sadly, sometimes you must do just that.
It seems, at first blush, that everything will be fine...the puppy in question is patient, the kittens are small and resolutely nonsquirmy, your kitten-wrangling and puppy-stuffing skills are paramount.
But as the puppy begins to feel the effects of kitten-crammage (stumbling about as if inebriated, barking in confusion, speaking French) your resolve will waver. You will begin to fear that the capacity for kitten placement in a puppy will fall short and you will be left with that duo of puppy-stuffing shames: a partially-filled puppy and extraneous kittens.
With dawning hope and horror in equal amounts, realization steals over you; the puppy's butt remains vacant of feline presence. A lone kitten looks at you plaintively, mutely pleading for canine succor, perhaps even meowing in adorable confusion at the whereabouts of its recent kitten friends, now fully ensconced in canus.
Though your eternal soul will no doubt be roasting on a demonic spit within hours, a simple lift and push and a moment's struggle with the domestic representatives involved completes your task.
Kittens: out of sight (if not of mind)
Puppy: thoroughly filled with kittens
Relax for a moment and reflect on your deeds this day. You have done the nearly-impossible. You depraved bastard.
(Source: Ninja-Lad)
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